A Houston foster mom to a very energetic pup created a hilarious website in an effort to find the dog’s ‘lifetime match’ and forever home.
Christine Clauder has been the foster mom to Hank, an adorable and indefatigable 1-year-old Siberian black mouth cur since May, and put up the adoption website just a month later in June, claiming ‘we need sleep. You have no idea how much we need to sleep.’
Hank, an adorable and energetic 1-year-old Siberian black mouth cur is up for adoption
‘This dog is a Peloton coach after a triple expresso,’ one person wrote of the pup on Clauder’s adoption website.
‘It’s like Chris Hemsworth died and came back as a dog,’ another commented.
The website, PleaseAdoptHank.com, jokingly – and somewhat profanely – notes that Hank is both loyal and neutered to prevent anyone from being ‘subjected to any of his hellspawn.’ As of Wednesday, Hank still was living with Clauder.
‘He knows basic commands such as ‘sit,’ ‘down,’ ‘shake,’ and ‘why are you so f— mental, stop chewing on that and get in your f— kennel.’ He’ll f— stand in between your legs [while you’re cooking] and trip you up while you’re holding knives,’ the website reads.
‘He’s 54 pounds of pure, unadulterated, kinetic energy with eyes like the ocean.’
‘We’re all tired of Hank. Not because we don’t love him, we’re just TIRED. It’s like he drank ALL OF OUR COFFEE,’ the adoption site adds.
The website itself is ‘highly exaggerated for comical effect,’ according to Clauder, who is a volunteer at the Abandoned Animal Rescue in Houston.
Hank is described as ’54 pounds of pure, unadulterated, kinetic energy with eyes like the ocean’
Clauder adds that the humorous nature of the website is ‘geared toward (finding) exactly the kind of person Hank needs.’
‘Also, if you’re trying to adopt Hank, that’s a serious deal, so please take it seriously. We’re just trying to get a permanent home for this goofball. Leave the funny to us; we deserve it since we can’t sleep and all. Love, Hank’s very exhausted foster family,’ the disclaimer reads.
‘The kind of people put off by it would not be a good match for him,’ Clauder told HuffPost.
‘When evaluating his personality, I realized Hank needs a special family, and I didn’t want to build a cutesy ‘what a sweet little puddy pie’ kind of website.’
‘Not only would that be a complete lie, but it would actually increase the chances that Hank would be returned, which would further harm his adoptability.’
The website, PleaseAdoptHank.com , jokingly notes that Hank is both loyal and neutered to prevent anyone from being ‘subjected to any of his hellspawn’
Christine Clauder (pictured) is the foster mom to Hank, an adorable and energetic 1-year-old Siberian black mouth cur who’s currently up for adoption
Clauder adds that the humorous nature of the adoption website is ‘geared toward (finding) exactly the kind of person Hank needs’
Clauder notes that she already is reviewing several adoption applications that have been submitted for Hank’s potential ‘forever home,’ but jokingly added that ‘trying to get this dog adopted has been like trying to find a Tickle-Me-Elmo during Christmas ’96.’
The exhausted foster mom said no decision had been made as of Wednesday, ‘so if someone feels a connection, they should definitely apply.’
‘We know there is the perfect family out there who can give Hank the life he deserves. Despite the tone of the site, we aren’t rushing this.’
Clauder told Mail Online that while she doesn’t have any direct input on where Hank will go for his ‘forever home,’ she was told that her viral website for Hank had inundated the Abandoned Animal Rescue with applicants.